Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Bridesmaid Gifts 101

If I’ve learned anything from eavesdropping on the bridal party, you don’t want to be corny when it comes to the gift you give to your bridesmaid.


DON’T give:

-Bath products.
Don’t give them something they will use and then it’s gone. It also looks like you really didn’t put any thought into it.

-Lots of little things.
In this case, less is definitely more. Don’t spend $50 on a bunch of junk, spend $50 on one nice item.

-Jewelry.
Sure, you think that matching hot pink necklace and earrings are fab, but are your bridesmaids really going to wear that? If you decide to give jewelry, make it tasteful and plain.

-A shirt that says “BRIDESMAID”.
Ultimate cheese. They are going to wear that shirt once, then it is going to go in the back of the closet.



DO give:

A Clutch
http://www.windsorfashions.com/
-Allison O’Keefe-Kean gave this as a gift to her bridesmaids and it was a hit! What was inside? A pair of Victoria’s Secret panties, a Starbucks gift card for the morning after, and some lotion. “I wanted to give them something special that they can use again that is stylish, not something cheesy like jewelry they will never wear again”, says Allison.


A Keepsake Box
http://www.beau-coup.com/
A great gift that you will use forever.


Pajamas
http://www.thepajamacompany.com/
Mara Day, wedding photographer, saw this at one of her weddings and absolutely loved the idea! “PJ’s can be used again and again unlike some floofy scented soap and bubble bath that probably don’t like in the first place!”, says Mara.



Tea Box with Monogram
http://www.americanbridal.com/
Something different! I personally love this idea. This item is very classy and timeless. You can go home and use it today or years into the future while entertaining.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Reception Right-On: The Candy Bar

The candy bar has been something that has been very popular over the past few years, but I don’t see it fading out anytime soon! It’s not difficult to make a candy bar unique to your event. All of the different colors, types, and designs you can use can really give your candy bar a signature look.

The best part-guests LOVE candy bars!

Here are some examples from weddings I’ve done recently:












Looking for something other than a candy bar?

1.) A S'mores Bar!
Very messy, but guests love it!  Same idea as the candy bar with all of your ingredients in the jars.  Then you have an area at the end of the line where the guests can either roast the marshmallow themselves or you can have an attendant to make the s'more for them.

2.) Sundae Station
Most venues can set this up for you and make it look really nice!  This way, you don't have to worry about the transport of the ice cream.  The venue will usually provide toppings, but you can add flare with extras you can bring.

3.) Cookies
Did that just sound completely boring when I said cookies?  NO WAY!  I've seen a truly fantastic cookies and milk bar.  It may sound lame, but it's all in the presentation.  And who doesn't love cookies and milk?  I've also seen really great cookies that are placed on sticks and wrapped in cellophane to look like lollipops.  Very bright and colorful!



Thursday, August 19, 2010

To Host or Not to Host?



The Bar. Oh, the bar.

At some point during the planning process the bar question has probably crossed your mind. Should I host the bar? Should I make it a cash bar? I don’t want to look cheap, but I’m seriously freaking out about my fiancé’s former frat buddies and the crazy bar tab they could rack up!

It’s ok. A recent cnn.com poll showed that most people don’t care if you have a cash or hosted bar. They don’t mind paying on their own and are just glad there is a bar at all!

However, there are many different combinations of bar services that most venues will accommodate. Here are a few options:

1.) Host only the cocktail hour. That way you contributed a bit and that’s when most people are going to drink anyway. The can pay for their own drinks after that cocktail hour.

2.) Host up to a certain dollar amount. If you have a budget and have a limit on what you can spend, host up to $500 or $1000 (whatever your dollar amount is). After that amount has been consumed, they will pay for their own drinks.

3.) Host beer and wine only.

4.) Host per person per hour. If you’re still scared about the frat boys and think the drinking based on consumption could be dangerous ground, many venues offer per person pricing. This way you can host for a few hours and they can drink as much as they want for a flat rate. This is a great idea if your group drinks a fair amount.

Most importantly: Don’t feel guilty. This is your wedding and if you want to have a cash bar, you have a cash bar!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The Ceremony Rehearsal – A MUST Have

It doesn’t matter if your ceremony has 20 or 500 attendees, you MUST have a ceremony rehearsal!


Your ceremony rehearsal is extremely important in order to make your wedding day flow correctly. It will also alleviate a ton of stress on your day.

I recently had a small wedding that cancelled their ceremony rehearsal with me on the day of the rehearsal. They felt that since their bridal party consisted of only 6 people total that it was a waste of their time. I tried to talk them into running through it even just once, but was turned down. 30 minutes before the ceremony the next day, the groom was completely panicked. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know where to go, who was supposed to walk first, or when to walk. He had also forgotten that his fiancé wanted both of their mothers to be walked down the aisle.


The moral of the story: Your ceremony rehearsal is NEVER a waste of time.


Here is a small list of things to prepare you for the rehearsal:
1.) Make a diagram of where everyone is supposed to stand at the ceremony as well as any seats that need to be reserved in the front rows for your family.

2.) Make a list of the order of people that are supposed to walk down the aisle and who they are walking with. (Don’t forget grandparents & parents if you are including them!)

3.) Make a list of the songs you are using for the processional of the family, bridesmaids, bride, and recessional as well as when they are supposed to play.

4.) Give these lists to your planner if you have one, your DJ, and the catering manager.


At the ceremony rehearsal, here is a great way to run things:

1.) First, according to your diagram, have everyone in their correct places at the front of the church/venue (As if everyone had already walked down the aisle) This way, everyone will know where to stand when you do the ceremony from the beginning.

2.) Remind your bridal party to bend their knees slightly and not lock them…you don’t want anyone passing out during your ceremony!

3.) If your officiant/pastor/rabbi is present, have him/her do a short overview of the ceremony.

4.) Proceed with the recessional. Have the bridal party walk down the aisle as if the ceremony just ended.

5.) Line up at the back of the church/ceremony in the order as you prepare to start the ceremony from the processional.

6.) Run through the ceremony from the beginning with the processional, overview of the ceremony, and conclude with the recessional.

7.) Repeat the ceremony from the beginning if more practice is needed or anyone is confused.

Most importantly, have fun!  The ceremony rehearsal is usually pretty short, lots of fun and can get silly with the mistakes that people will inevitably make.

Friday, August 13, 2010

So your friends have asked you to officiate their wedding…

I had the pleasure of officiated my first wedding last week and it was a very memorable occasion. Even though I didn’t know the couple personally, it was such an honor to be a part of their day!

So what now?

1.) Become Ordained.
This is easy enough and can be done online for no cost at all to you. I became ordained through the Universal Life Church. Here is their website: http://www.ulc.net/
Make sure to register at least a week before the wedding because there is an approval process.

2.) Find out the laws of your state regarding officiating a wedding.
For me it was easy. California only requires you to be ordained through any denomination of church. Some states, the process is not as easy. Many states required you to register with the county clerk’s office. This website has the laws for each state: http://www.northernway.org/marriagelaws.html

3.) Talk with your friends and find out what they want to accomplish during the ceremony.
Do your friends want to have prayer readings or do they want to have a sand ceremony? Make sure to sit down with them and really discuss what aspects they want included in their ceremony.

4.) Write the ceremony
This may be as easy as copying something from the internet or something very specialized for your friends. Make sure you make it personal. There is a reason they asked you to do their ceremony! With that said, BE APPROPRIATE!  There will be family there and you don't want to say anything that will embarrass the bride or groom.

5.) Practice!
You may think you have it down, but make sure you practice a few times before the actual wedding. Make sure you are speaking clearly, at a proper pace, and loud enough for the crowd to hear. This will also make you feel more comfortable when you actually have to stand in front of people and talk.

6.) Attend the ceremony rehearsal
Many seasoned officiants do not attend the ceremony rehearsal. However, you are not a seasoned officiant! This way, you will know what is going on and the proper flow of the ceremony. You will not go through the entire script at this time, but this should make you feel more comfortable and there won’t be any surprises the next day.

7.) Perform the ceremony
Relax! You’ve been practicing!

8.) Sign the marriage license
After the ceremony, have the bride and groom take a moment and sign their license. You will need to sign it as well. Sometimes the license will have already be signed by the bride and groom at the county clerk's office. Some states do require a witness to sign the document as well, so make sure you check on that!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Reception Rant #2: Asking your bridesmaids to lose weight for the wedding

Some may call this Bridezilla behavior, but your friends are really just calling you the other “B” word behind your back.

It is NEVER appropriate to ask your bridesmaids to lose weight for your wedding. You loved them enough to ask them to be in your wedding, now accept who they are, what they look like, and deal with it. If you are so concerned with their appearances, you shouldn’t have asked them to be in the bridal party in the first place.

Not everyone is going to fit into that fabulous little Badgley Mischka strapless mini-dress that you think would look great on your girls. (And it is fabulous by the way!) This is especially true if you and your bridesmaids are over 25 and/or any of them have had children.

Different body types needs different dresses! Be kind to your bridesmaids and pick a color and let them run with it. This way everyone can feel comfortable as well as beautiful on your wedding day.

Here is a great website for determining what dress is best for your body type:
http://www.bestpromdresses.com/shop/dresses_by_body_type.php

It’s true that you shouldn’t tell your bridesmaids to lose weight…
BUT…
If you do give your friends the option to pick a different style to fit their body type and they look absolutely ridiculous then you must TELL HER!
My suggestion: Don’t tell her flat out that she looks bad, but say something like, “Well that looks nice, but I think this style would make you look way hotter!”

Friday, August 6, 2010

Types of Wedding Planners

Are you on a budget and are afraid you won’t be able to afford a wedding planner? Or do you have an unlimited budget and want all of the planning details taken care of?


There is a planner to fit everyone’s needs!

Here are some different types of wedding planners and what they can provide:


Full Service Planner
This planner will take care of EVERYTHING! This type is great for brides that do not have a restricted budget. Have an idea but not really sure how to put it into action? This type of planner is excellent for you! Planners love brides like that because it gives them a chance to be creative. You can give them a general idea and they will run with it and create and amazing design for you.

Partial Planners
A little less help that full service, but much more than a day of planner. These types of planners are still great assets and can help you interact with your vendors and give any last minute recommendations for vendors that are still needed.

Day-of Planner
This is most likely the best option for a couple that is on a budget. This type of planner doesn’t walk you through the process but is very helpful on the day of to help coordinate your vendors. Although this may sound like something easy, you are not going to want to have to worry about that on your wedding day. Your wedding is supposed to be fun for you too!


Here is a site of a trusted planner friend of mine that shows what is generally included for all three types of planning: http://www.briannakeboevents.com/services.html


Most importantly: Do your research! Don’t just pick one off the internet because they have a pretty website. Check to see if they are part of an association such as ABC (Association of Bridal Consultants) or other national associations. http://www.bridalassn.com/
These associations have protocols to ensure that their planners are the best! Also, ask your friends or family members if they have used a planner in the past that they really enjoyed. Most planners do get their business by referrals.

Do I Really Need a Wedding Planner?

YES, YES, & YES!


While you are sitting and getting your make-up done, do you really want the florist, bakery, venue, and calling and bugging you wondering where they are supposed to go or asking you detail questions?

Also, keep in mind that your catering manager at your venue is NOT your wedding planner!

What are some of the tasks that your catering manager is responsible for?
-Provides venue information and venue
-Set-up and tear down of the event
-Provides the couple with a menu tasting and menu
-Provide couple with a floor plan of the event with his/her knowledge of the property in order to create the best flow
-Act as the go-to person if your wedding planner has questions regarding the venue/staff/set-up

What are some of the tasks that your wedding planner should be responsible for?
-Set-up a complete timeline of your event
-Your catering manager can refer preferred vendors, but your wedding planner most likely has a more vast knowledge of trusted vendors
-Coordinate drop off times with vendors and ensure they find the right place when they do arrive
-Coordinate your entire event while working closing with the Catering Manager
-The wedding planner also stays much later than your catering manager. Generally, the catering manager leaves after the grand entrance or immediately after dinner is served
-Reviews contracts with all of your vendors. This is VERY important. Planners know what verbiage to watch out for and be wary of.
-Planners also know a whole lot about wedding etiquette. Don’t embarrass yourself and make a wedding no-no. It always seems like your fiancé’s grandma catches you on something like that!

Wedding planning is a tough and competitive business. These ladies and gentlemen pride themselves on knowing all there is to know about weddings. It would be in your favor to have one on your special day.



*Definitely can’t afford a planner? To save your sanity, make sure you designate a family member on the day of your wedding to deal with all the vendors, put out any favors on your tables, and speak with the catering manager onsite if he/she has any questions.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Reception Rant #1: The Grand Entrance Song

Are you thinking about using a Black Eyed Peas song for your grand entrance song?

PLEASE…THINK AGAIN!

It was cute a year ago when you heard the bridal party entering the reception to “Let’s Get it Started” or “Tonight’s Gonna be a Good Night”, but now it’s just old and tired. Over the past year, 8 out of 10 weddings I’ve had  used one of these songs for their grand entrance.

BE ORIGINAL!

I had a wedding a few months ago where the groomsmen entered to a battle song from the movie “300”. It was hilarious! Maybe not appropriate for all groups, but it shows that they were really thinking outside the box.

Need some ideas?  Here are some funs songs to get you started:



MusicPlaylistRingtones
Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Do You Know Your Catering Manager?

Sure, you know your fabulous, awesome wedding planner who is at your every beck and call, but do you know your catering manager? You remember, right? That person you signed a 10-15 page contract with for your ceremony and/or reception venue?

You may think that your catering manager is out of the picture and your wedding planner takes over as soon as that contract is signed. In reality, your catering manager is JUST as important to your big day as your wedding planner. Who do you think your wedding planner goes to when they have questions?

Think of your wedding like a concert: Your wedding planner is the Tour Manager and your catering manager is the Lead Roadie. The CM (catering manager) is behind the scenes making sure the venue is set exactly the way it is supposed to be, all staff is in the appropriate places, and everything is just right at the venue.

It is very important to get to know your CM at your venue. He/She knows the property very well and may know little things that can make your wedding that much more beautiful. It can also be significant to know your CM when it comes to the final bill. Did you sign your contract guaranteeing that you would have 100 guests and now you are only going to have 90 attending? Having a rapport or friendship with your CM may sometimes alleviate additional costs. Obviously that isn’t a guarantee but it couldn’t hurt and it will definitely make your event go smoothly. It also makes it easier for you as a bride when making last minute requests at the venue. If you are friendly with your CM, they are more than happy to rush around for you.